


And baby makes...three?

by therosystarling



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Babies!, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Reddie, Stanlon - Freeform, aged up AU, babies everywhere! - Freeform, benverly - Freeform, idk but they're there!, is there a name for bill/audra?, small smutty part but no biggie, this is so predictable and I apologize for nothing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-21 03:50:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14907774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therosystarling/pseuds/therosystarling
Summary: A cliché, fluffy work about Richie and Eddie having a baby? Don't mind if I do! (AKA, everyone else wrote one, I wanted to, too.)





	And baby makes...three?

"I'm sorry, Eds. You're no longer the cutest thing I've ever seen. No offense."

Eddie smiled, his chin resting on his husband's shoulder. "None taken, " he answered. He scooted himself a bit closer in the hard, plastic chair to reach down and swipe his thumb gently across the cheek of one Owen Benjamin Hanscom, whom Richie was holding. Even though he had been a week late and weighed in at nine pounds, eleven ounces, and was an impressive twenty-one and a half inches long, the newborn was the tiniest thing Eddie had ever rested his eyes on. The baby smacked his lips at the touch and yawned, earning delighted, soft _awws_ from the two men. Eddie turned his attention to Bev and Ben, Bev happily working on her second hamburger in bed while Ben refreshed her water glass from the pitcher on the bedside table. "He's beautiful, you two," Eddie said, returning his gaze to Richie gently rubbing the baby's chin. "Lift his hat a little," he whispered to Richie. "I _have_ to see whose hair color he ended up with."

"Don't you dare!" Ben's shout was more like a harsh whisper, trying to keep the baby asleep. "Newborns need all the warmth they can get after birth!"

Bev sighed, chewing her food down. "A quick look will be fine, hun. Richie would find a way no matter what before he left, anyway. Just let them sneak a peek now."

"She's right, you know, Haystack," Richie grinned. "I'm _everywhere_. This hat can't stay on forever!"

Ben sighed, throwing his hands up, which Richie and Eddie took as a sign to go ahead. Richie delicately hooked a thumb and forefinger in the front of the cap and pulled it up and away, only to be met by a large, fire-red curl springing out a couple inches into pulling the cap up. He and Eddie squealed, talking at the same time.

"Oh my _gosh_ , he's a little you already, Bev!-"

"-Holy shit, look at all this hair! He's like a tiny fucking adorable mop!"

Bev looked at them softly. "Eddie? Don't you want to hold him?"

"Oh, God. No. I don't dare. I'll just drop him."

"You won't," the other three protested. 

"Come on, _Doctor_ Kaspbrak, hold him," Richie encouraged. "He smells _so_ good."

"I'm an E.N.T. , Rich. Not a pediatrician." He swallowed, looking baby Owen over. "I've never held a baby. I don't want to-want to hurt him, or anything."

"You wont! Eds, babies are resilient. Shit, you could probably bounce him like a basketball and he'd get right back up!"

"...Please do not do that," Ben moaned. 

"Come on, Eds. Hold your arms like I am. I'll stick him in there."

"Oh, oh no, no! Rich, I-" But Richie was already up on his feet, gently tucking the bundle into Eddie's arms. Eddie gripped a little tighter than probably needed, but no one seemed to notice or mind. Eddie gently rocked the baby in his arms, the baby blinking his eyes open. "Hi-hi, little guy. I'm...I'm Uncle Eddie. Is he-is he looking at me?"

Richie sat back down, sliding his arm around Eddie's shoulders. "Newborns have vision about as good as I do when I open the dishwasher when it's freshly done. They can see _way_ better up close. Get your face in there."

Eddie complied, inching closer. "Hi there. Hey," he cooed, the little one just staring and blinking. "You're just perfect. Yes you are," he continued. Richie rested his head on Eddie's shoulder, reaching over to let Owen grasp his finger. 

"You know, you two are gonna make great dads," Ben chimed in, opening a ketchup packet for Bev's fries she had yet to touch.

"That's what I've been saying, since, like, eleventh grade," Richie said, humming to the baby. " _Somebody_ is too worried about how adoption would go, though."

"It's scary," Eddie protested. "I mean, I'm thankful we live where same-sex couples are still allowed to, with all this crazy stuff going on in the world now, but I just still...worry they wouldn't choose us. I think unfortunately a lot of people don't see a family as a 'real' family without a mom and a dad."

"Have you ever thought about a surrogate?" Bev asked, munching on a fry.

"That's such a tough thing to ask someone," Eddie said, sighing. "Someone to put everything on hold... give their body up for nine months, carry a child for someone else-that's got to be hard. I don't know where'd we even begin to look."

Ben and Bev gave each other a quick smile. The door opened then, and Stan, Mike and Bill piled in with flowers and teddy bears. They all greeted each other with quiet hellos, Bill and Mike making their way to hug Ben and Bev first, Stan directing his sights on Eddie.

"Oh. My. _God_ ," Stan whispered, looking down. "He's so!-"

"I know!-"

"Is his hair?-"

"Like Bev's.-"

"Can I?-"

"Of course! Here, sit. " Eddie stood up gently, holding Owen, while Stan took his seat and held his arms out. Eddie placed the newborn into them, and Stan instantly began to cradle him. "He's so, so tiny," he remarked.

Bev scoffed. "Tiny? Almost ten pounds, and _that's_ tiny? I'd like to see you push out-"

Ben offered a fry to Bev, who took it and chewed it hastily. "Sorry," he mouthed to Stan.

"He's the biggest baby born here in the last two weeks," Richie muttered to Stan. "Sore subject. Literally, given Bev's the size of a toothpick." Stan nodded, looking back at Bev. 

"He's gorgeous, Bev. Congratulations. Both of you. "

"How's Audra doing, Bill?" Ben asked.

"Great. The sixth month is apparently the month of heartburn from anything she eats, though."

"I can't believe we're having babies together," Bev said, offering bill a fry. He nibbled on it. "Anything Owen outgrows, Billy can have it, okay?"

Mike wandered over to where Stan and Richie sat. "God, what a sweetheart," he marveled, leaning down and kissing the baby's forehead. 

"And that's my cue to move for the newly engaged couple," Richie declared, standing to bow and offering his seat to Mike. Mike clapped him on the back and took the spot, leaning over Stan, gently tickling Owen's feet.

"You must want sleep, Bev," Mike said. "We'd have been here earlier, but Bill's street was a mess of traffic. Were we interrupting anything?"

"Nothing important," Bev said. "Just how I decided I'm going to be Richie and Eddie's surrogate."

"You're **_what_**?" All the guys yelled in unison, sans Ben. Stan immediately rocked the baby in his arms a little faster, hoping they hadn't startled him.

"Yeah. I'd like few weeks of recovery, but... I want to do it. I want to be your surrogate. My egg and everything. May I have the honor?" She smiled, stuffing a few more fries in her mouth. 

"Are you _serious?_ You're not fucking with us?" Richie was practically bouncing on the hospital bed Bev was laying in. "Because we absolutely would love you to-Eds? You okay?"

Eddie looked pale, shuffling his way to the end of the bed. "You-you want to carry our baby?"

"Yes. What do you say?"

"But-we've only been married for three months!"

"But you've known each other your whole lives," Ben cut in.

"You saw me! I have no idea how to hold a baby!"

"But then you _did_ hold one, and you were great at it," Bev answered.

"But I have **no** idea what the hell I'm doing!"

"And the rest of us do? Eddie, you guys have your shit together! Trust me! Way more than Ben and I do. You guys have a cute house, secure jobs, running cars, the cutest beta fish-"

"... _Shhhhhhhhhhiit_. Did I feed those things today?" Richie asked. Bev glared. "Kidding! I'm kidding."

"You guys have it! And now you'll have a little one to ruin it all!" She smiled at him. "So? That a yes?"

Eddie looked at Richie, who was biting his lip, waiting for his answer nervously. "If you're _really_ alright about being pregnant again so soon, then...yeah. Okay. Yes. We...do?"

"Yes!" Richie bear-hugged Eddie, lifting him slightly and twirling him. "We're gonna be dads, Eds! Us! Dads!"

Everyone minus Bev and Mike, who had taken over baby-holding duty, came in for a hug. "Mike and I better be next, Bev," Stan pointed.

"Jesus, I haven't even knocked myself up yet! Let me get through what could be Richie's gangly clone first, then we'll talk!" She finished off the last few fries left on her plate. "Now, if you don't mind, fellas, it's feeding time. Mike, gimme my baby. All of you, scoot. I'll be out of here tomorrow. You two," she stared at Richie and Eddie. "Make sure you get _and_ sanitize a turkey baster. Got it?"

Richie frowned. "Why do we need to get a- _ohhhhhhh._ "

Eddie squeaked. "Oh! Um, Bev, is a _house_ really a clean place to do... **that** in?

"You're a doctor, Eddie. I'm assuming you keep your home more sterile than a bottle of rubbing alcohol."

"It's true. I personally watched him rub down his kitchen counter with Purel when he ran out of Clorox wipes," Mike said, handing Owen over to Bev.

"We had raw chicken on that thing. Raw! Chicken!"

Bill sighed. "You cut it on a _cutting_ board, Eddie."

"It could still seep through!"

"Alright, enough," Bev declared, shutting them up. "The boobie's coming out. Get out or get weird!" The five laughed, congratulating the couple again, then left, saying good bye and going their separate ways. Richie grabbed Eddie's hand and held it through the halls. 

"Wow. We have to think of names, Eds. What about that? _Eds?_ We can call them Eds!"

"Pass," he grinned, swinging Richie's arm. "So...which one of us is donating? Should we flip a coin or something?"

"Are you crazy? You are, obviously."

"Me? Why me?"

Richie rubbed his thumb over the back of Eddie's hand. "Well, let's see. You have twenty-fifteen vision. You have naturally straight teeth and didn't have to endure years of dental torture. Your hair actually does what you want it to. Your skin rivals a satin sheet. And I think I've seen you with a zit, like, three times my whole life. It's obvious you have the better genes, here. Any kid of mine is just gonna end up blind as a seven-foot bat with teeth that could open a beer bottle that fidgets constantly."

"Richie," Eddie said softly. "Come on, don't be like that. You're funny. You're handsome. Your hair is a mess, sure, but it's _yours,_ and it's amazing. You are way more relaxed about things than I could ever be. You calm me down constantly! And just because **I** have good vision doesn't mean my baby would have it. All of my aunts had terrible vision their whole lives. Uncle Doug needed the damn head gear for his teeth. Grandpa Fred had skin problems. And my mom had Munchausen by proxy, in case you forgot." Richie kept quiet, giving Eddie's hand a squeeze. "Rich, you'd be a great dad."

"But so would you."

"Fine. So how do we decide who donates, then?"

Richie bit his cheek in thought. "I think I have an idea."

************************************

"This is so humiliating," Eddie hissed through his teeth. He and Richie were standing in the recently cleaned bathroom, nude, both with a empty specimen collection cup in their hands. A third one sat on the counter. 

"How? This is pretty much our foreplay, doll. We do this all the time."

"Not with a cup, and _certainly_ not with our friend waiting at the coffee shop around the corner for conformation that we _blew our loads!_ " 

"Babe, _all_ of our friends have walked in on us having sex at this point. Getting a heads up we finished is probably a blessing at this point." 

Eddie's face flushed red, and he rubbed at his arm. "It's barely been six weeks since she gave birth. How the hell is she ready to do this? Oh, Jesus, she's gonna _see_ our... _stuff_ in the cup, and... _God,_ this is embarrassing!"

"You're freaking out too much, Eds," Richie mumbled, kissing up and down Eddie's neck. "It's not a big deal. She knew what goes into this." He moved his lips up and nibbled on his ear, and Eddie squirmed. Richie pressed against him, and he could feel he was ready to go.

"How the hell are you _aroused_ at this," Eddie asked. "We're working each other over just to come in **cups.** This is the least romantic thing in the worrll **ffffuck** ," he spat out as Richie grabbed a hold of him, stroking lightly, still biting on his ear. 

"...Shit. I didn't put hand sanitizer on. I know you wanted this to be as sterile as possible. Did I fuck this up a with dirty hand job? Should I stop and put some on?"

He pressed his lips to Richie's, and roughly started stroking him back. "Don't you _even_ think about stopping," he whimpered.

 

Five minutes later, Bev's phone rang. She looked at the caller ID and sighed, answering it. "I literally just sat down with my iced tea. You _cannot_ be done already. It would ruin your bragging reputation."

"'Tis true, m'lady. Our cup runneth over," Richie squawked into the phone. "And you were the one who suggested no sex for a few days! What did you expect?"

"Did you put them together in the same cup?"

"Yeah, they're both in there. Should I shake it? We have a martini mixer."

Bev sighed. "Just gently swirl the cup. Super gently. Lid on, obviously. Don't shake. Keep the cup in the bedroom. You have it cool in there, right?"

"Yep. Eds got it to sixty-four in there, and we have a towel down, a nice sheet you can cover up with, and a new pillow for...uh...leverage, I guess. And your hunky dreamboat awaits. He's tall, clear...kinda a big head on him, though. And he's been boiled. Twice."

"Alright. I'm on my way. Also, don't touch each other again for another couple days. We'll do another round of this to be safe."

"...You're fucking _killing_ me, Bev."

"Love you, too!"

****************************************************

"How long does a doctor's appointment take? Is it supposed to take this long? Ben? Were they always this long with Owen?" Eddie was nervously biting his nails, pacing around his kitchen. Ben was softly bouncing Owen on his knee, Mike and Stan leisurely looking through a wedding invitation catalog. Bev had tried to take an at home test a couple times, but the results were more of a blob than a plus or a minus sign, so she had decided to go straight to the doctor's instead.

"She's gotta take the train into the city and back, Eddie. And the office is _always_ running behind. It'll be okay."

"But she could be pregnant! We could be dads right now! Should I call her? I'm gonna call-"

" _ **Uhp!**_ Nope, nope, nope!" Richie snatched Eddie's cell phone out of his hand and held it over his head. "She said she was telling us in person, no matter the news. Ben's right, it'll be okay. Relax, babe. Go grab a shot of vodka. I got your favorite kind."

"You know," Ben said, "if she is, she'd be ten weeks along."

"...But we only did this two months ago?"

"Yeah, but pregnancy is weird. You start counting from when you ovulated, which is about two weeks before a period, so-what? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"She could be _two and a half months_ along? We haven't even started painting a nursery! Rich, where are those paint swatches we grabbed from Lowe's? Did we decide on a car seat from Target? We're so behin-"

"Ooohhhhh **kay** , I think that drink should be a double, don't you?" Richie lead Eddie over to the counter and pulled a shot glass from the cupboards. Eddie ignored him and took a swig straight from the bottle. "Maybe no more factoids in the meantime, Haystack?" 

"I'm sorry! It's just a weird thing, is all."

The door banged open, and they all jumped, looking expectantly. Bill walked through the threshold. "I'm gonna lose my shit," Eddie mumbled, taking another swig.

"Bill," Stan greeted. "You're just in time for the meltdown! Pull up a seat."

"I-I-I-Sh-sh-she-Aud-Audra-Aud-"

The others blinked. it had been a long time since Bill had stuttered. Mike spoke first. "You okay there, Big Bill?" 

Bill marched his way over to Eddie and snatched the bottle from him, taking a couple of gulps of it. "Audra. Hospital. Water broke. Baby coming." He took a couple more swigs.

"Holy shit," Richie yelled, slapping Bill's shoulder. "Why are you even here, then? Go!"

"Sh-sh-she just called as I-I-I was p-p-park-parki-..."

"We'll take you," Stan interrupted, grabbing Mike. "You can't drive like this." 

"B-b-b-Bev?"

"We'll tell you what she says! We'll watch your car! Just get out! Stop drinking all the damn vodka!"

Bill was ushered outside by Stan and Mike, the sound of their car peeling away.

"Okay, now _you_ ," Richie said to Eddie, grasping him by the shoulders. "Go splash your face. Take a few breaths. Smoke one of my joints. Do something. _Anything._ Ben and I and Haystack Junior here will start on the food for when Bev gets back. You got me?"

"But I-"

"No buts! Go! It's like they say, a watched pot never leads a horse to water."

"...That is **definitely** not what they say."

Richie kissed his forehead. "Whatever. Get to it! You're going to give yourself an ulcer. Five minutes. All I ask. For me, okay?"

Eddie took a giant breath in and out, burying his face into Richie's neck. "Okay. For you." He made his way into the bathroom, closing the door behind him and ran the sink water warm. He splashed his a face a few times, dried it, then added a touch of lavender scented liquid soap to the sink basin, letting the scent fill the room as he sat on the edge of the tub, trying to calm his breathing and slow his heart rate. "He's right...everything will be okay...even if it's not positive, we'll just try again...it's okay...it's okay..." He cracked his neck from side to side, noticing the tub when he moved his head. "Ugh, when the hell did we rinse this out last?" He got to work spraying and wiping down the tub with the products he kept under the sink.

Fifteen minutes later, he emerged to see Bev in the living room, whispering something to Richie and showing him something in her hands. He watched Richie cover his face with his hands and sink to the couch. _Oh, oh no. Something bad has happened. Oh, God. Oh no._ Eddie practically jogged down the hallway to meet up with Bev.

"Bev? Is everything okay? What happened?" His voice quivered with concern. 

"Hey! Here, I should show you." She dragged out a small picture from her behind her back.

"Okay? What am I looking at?"

"My uterus. Not as cool in black and white as it is in color....I'm assuming."

Eddie scanned the photo, confused. "Is something wrong with it? Is something wrong with _you_? I just see blobs. What does 'A' and 'B' mean?"

Ben let out a soft gasp, immediately realizing what had been found. 

"Eddie, see this?" Bev pointed to the 'A.' "This is your baby."

"This-this is-baby? A baby? It worked? It worked! We're-Richie we're-we're going to have a baby? We're having a baby!" Richie sat on the couch, a dazed look on his face.

"And this," Bev swiped her hand over the 'B,' "is your baby."

"Oh. They took two photos?"

"No, Eddie. That's one photo."

"But you said that's my baby," he said, tapping the 'A.' "And that one-" he pointed at the 'B'- "is my- my-bayyy...beeeeee **beeee _eEEEEee?_** " His eyes grew wide. "No," he whispered. "You're kidding me."

Bev smiled, nodding. "Congratulations. You guys just doubled your fun."

"There's-I-We have-Two? _Two_? Rich? Two? **Rich?** " Eddie swayed a bit.

"Oh Jesus, Ben! Grab him!" 

"On it!" Ben held Eddie upright with one hand with baby Owen in his other. Bev quickly grabbed the baby from Ben's arms so Ben could lead Eddie to the couch next to Richie. Owen gurgled and giggled.

"Two," he whispered, plopping down. "Richie, we're gonna have...two."

Richie was glassy eyed, a smile on his face so large it looked like his cheeks hurt. "I know. I _know,_ babe. We're gonna have...oh, my God. _Twins_." He wiped his face and pulled Eddie closer to him, both of them dissolving into happy, surprised tears. "Ben, do us a favor and bring that vodka over here?"

Ben, teary eyed himself, grabbed the bottle from the kitchen counter and took a drink of it before handing it over. "Do they know if they're identical?"

Bev shrugged. "They couldn't really see the placenta too well, let alone if they're's two of them. I'll be having more ultrasounds since now this is a higher risk pregnancy, so hopefully we'll find out soon. Do you two want to know what they are when they can tell?"

Eddie shook his head no. "We want to be surprised. Even with two." Richie took a swig of vodka, nodding in agreement with his husband. Eddie took the bottle and sipped a tad, handing it off to Ben. "Oh, shit-Bill! We gotta go see Bill! We can't go drunk! Bev! Audra's water broke! We gotta get to the hospital!"

Richie sheepishly smiled. "Um. Another favor, Bev? Can...can you drive?"

************************************

After months of no color seeming right, Richie and Eddie decided on a paint party for the nursery. Everyone was to bring whatever paint cans they had lying around, and they flung the colors wildly around the room with brushes. Richie gently dipped one of Owen's hands in paint and pressed it on the wall, earning a squeal of delight from the boy, and Audra delicately dipped Billy's small feet in a green, walking them up the wall for a little trail of footprints. Richie smiled over at Eddie, who had earned a brush full of orange paint to the bridge of his nose when he insisted to Bev that she shouldn't be doing so much at twenty-eight weeks. Owen made grabby hands towards her, and Richie dipped the boy's hands in paint and zoomed him like an airplane over to her, the boy giggling madly, pressing his paint covered hands to his mom's face.

"Oh, you are so dead, Tozier," she smirked, picking up a brush and dipping it in black paint.

"I have a child! Your child! I'm invincible! You would never!" Richie held up Owen in front of him. A loud _smack_ rang through the air, leaving paint dripping off Richie's face and glasses. A very amused Stan had attacked him from behind with a bright purple paint-soaked hand.

"I would," he deadpanned, cackling. Bev snickered along and scooped a giddy Owen away from Richie, as Richie removed his glasses and clipped them on his shirt. 

"Staniel, you better start running because I. Now. Have. A. **Roller.** " He quickly snatched the roller they had propped in the corner-it had only been used for touching up the ceiling, and Richie roughly took the smaller section off to have it be a hand-held device. He slathered it in bright blue paint and gave chase to Stan, the both trying _not_ to slide everywhere on the paint covers laid out all over the hardwood floor.

"You know, I was going to offer to baby sit," Audra began saying to Eddie, watching Richie tackle Stan and rub the roller up his side into his armpit. "But I'm going to have to charge extra for Richie."

Eddie laughed, wiping away what paint he still had on his face. Audra gently wiped off Billy's feet, and Billy, babbling and getting fussy, made his fists into curling motions towards Eddie, signaling he wanted to go to him. Eddie happily obliged, cradling him, and placing a kiss on the boy's head before he yawned and made himself comfortable against Eddie's shoulder. While Richie had become the token fun, zany Uncle who delighted Owen and Billy with voices and stories and probably-not-too-safe spins and bounces around the room, Eddie had earned a place as the 'baby-putter-downer-for-a-nap' Uncle. They always wanted _him_ when they were ready to sleep, content to snuggle against his chest over Richie's, and even their own parents sometimes. "It's because you're so soft and cuddly, Eds," Richie had remarked. "Also, you actually have a heart they can listen to, not cold emptiness inside like me!"

Bill wandered over with a pink-tinted brush and smiled at the sight. "So, I hear you still don't know if the babies are identical?"

"Nope. Stubborn little boogers. Laying in just a way they can't tell if there's a second placenta, or if what they _can_ make out is just a shadow. Can't even see either cord."

"And you two still don't want to know what they are?"

"Nah. We'll find out soon enough. Richie's betting we're keeping a theme, though. He thinks we're having identical twin Tozier boys."

"Oh, Jesus, don't say that," Mike interjected. "I may have to move Stan and myself to Mars."

"Hey! Nothing wrong with a little more Toziers in the world! Eddie seems to like one, at least. That's why he's changing his name- _ow_ , goddamn it, Stan! You got paint in my eye!"

Bev quirked an eyebrow to Eddie. "You're changing your name? Really?"

Eddie shrugged as well as he could with a now passed out Billy in his arms. "Yeah. I know I said it's archaic, but-it's easier than hyphenating for the babies, and plus, I-I just associate the name with my mom. I know it wasn't her maiden name, but that's all who I think of when I hear it, with dad being gone for so long. He only has a handful of relatives left, and I barely see or speak to them. I...I want to be a Tozier."

Stan looked up from where he had pinned Richie down, trying to stuff a paint can lid down his shirt. "Blink twice if he's making you say that." 

"And you're okay with that? Even if they're not Richie's babies," Bill asked.

"They're our babies," Eddie said simply. 'Doesn't matter whose sperm took, they're _ours._ "

"They could be both of yours, if they're fraternal," Ben hummed from the corner, flicking yellow paint onto a corner of the wall. Everyone froze and stared at him. "...What?"

"How the hell could they be both of ours, Haystack? You need to get some fresh air over there?"

"No! They could, Richie! See, I read a lot of baby and pregnancy magazines in those waiting rooms with Bev, and they had a really cool article in one-like they interviewed about dozen women who had fraternal twins, right? And they all noticed something was up because they looked so drastically different, more so than just because they weren't identical, and turns out the twins each had a different dad because the women either had two men in their lives they slept with really close together, or did the surrogate thing like Bev is- and the dads did what you did, the um...mixing, I guess?. And each twin had a different dad! It was coo-okay, are you guys _always_ going to stare at me when I tell a pregnancy fact? I'm just trying to say it could happen! It was neat to read!"

"You're bullshitting us," Richie said, standing up and smoothing his shirt out.

But it was still on Richie's mind that night, as he and Eddie snuggled in bed. "You think Haystack was pulling one over on us?"

"I found the article he was talking about online. It happens. Apparently it might not be as rare as one thinks, as long as both sperm donors are healthy and it's within a close time period of conceiving, which-with both of ours together..."

"Do you-do you think that it happened with us? There's a little clone of both of us? Wouldn't that be something if we did testing, and that had happened?"

"Richie, I thought we agreed to no DNA testing."

"I know! I know. They're **ours,** no matter what. But, I mean. Now I'm just fucking curious because... what if that happened? How cool would that be, you know?"

"Would be cooler if somehow our sperm combined, and we made a bizarre mix of ourselves."

Richie giggled into Eddie's neck. "Cute curly red-headed buck toothed cursers that smoke like a chimney, but are five feet tall?"

Eddie turned to face Richie, smiling in the moonlight. "I actually pictured ridiculously tall _me's_."

Richie kissed him softly. "In all seriousness...you really aren't the least bit curious? At all?"

"Well, yeah, of course.But they're going to end up looking like _somebody._ We'll be able to see it. We don't need a test to prove that."

"It's gonna be Bev, you know. Just to drive us nuts."

"Oh, yeah. I figured that already. They have a head start driving us nuts, being completely uncooperative trying to see if they're identical or not."

"And that's why I say they're one-hundred-percent Tozier boys," Richie said. "Who the hell else would be this much of a pain in the ass before even springing out of the womb?"

"Can't argue with that," Eddie yawned, snuggling closer into Richie. 

****************************************************

 

Despite his hands tremoring, Eddie was doing pretty well at staying focused driving to the hospital. It was Richie who was the mess in the passenger seat next to him, freaking out completely. It had only been ten minutes since they got the phone call from Ben-he and Richie had only been awake for a few minutes to get ready for work-and Ben's voice was panicked. _Don't freak out, I know it's early, but Bev's water broke, and she was already having contractions by the time I got her here at the hospital. They're breech, and everyone's heart rates are starting to climb just a bit more than they'd like. So it's best to do a C-Section. They're getting the room ready now, and they'll probably be here by the time you arrive, and it's gonna be okay, **okay?** Just get here as quick as you can._

And now they were just a few blocks from the hospital, Eddie clutching the wheel tightly but trying to keep breathing evenly, Richie muttering and praying, even though Eddie knew Richie had been a lapsed Catholic since he was about ten.

"She's not even thirty-five weeks along, Eds, it's too soon. The babies are too soon-" he wailed, scared to death. Eddie had never heard Richie sound so frightened in his life.

"She's only two days away from thirty-five weeks, Rich. It's okay, remember I said multiples tend to arrive earlier? Roughly thirty-five weeks along isn't bad. Babies have been born way before that, and have been fine. Everyone's going to be okay, like Ben said. Take a deep breath, alright?" He merged into the lane that would take them to the hospital.

"Too soon," Richie repeated in a croaked, hoarse voice. "It's just too soon. Way too soon-"

"Honey, breathe. _Breathe,_ baby."

"I can't-Eds I can't-our babies- _Bev_ -we can't lose them-I-I-I'd never forgive myself, I-" tears began to spill down Richie's face.

"Sweetheart," Eddie said, soothingly. "No one's going anywhere. It'll be okay. I work with that hospital, remember? It's a great hospital. Number one in newborn and mom care." _And NICU,_ Eddie thought, but didn't say out loud. "Everyone's going to be well taken care of. You'll see." He made his way to the parking garage and drove to the section for maternity ward parking.

"It should've been you," Richie sobbed out. "You should have donated solo. My dumb fucking genes probably did this, and I-I-I-I fucked everything up, and our babies aren't-aren't gonna make it-they're gonna- _die_." 

" **Richie** ," Eddie hotly stated, a tear slipping from his own eye. He found a spot and threw the car in park, twisted the key to cut the engine, then grabbed his husband's face. "It does not matter whose sperm it is. Mine. Yours. The Pope. Motherfucking _Jesus Christ himself_. When a baby wants out, _**it wants out.**_ This is not your fault, do you hear me? We're gonna walk in there and face the good, the bad, the ugly. But you can not dwell on just the bad and ugly. Our friend is in there. Our _babies_ are in there. We have to be there for them, and we can't cry in this car for the rest of our lives beating ourselves up for something no one has any control over." Richie's tears slowed a bit, and he pressed his forehead to Eddie's. "Please. Baby. We have to go in there, no matter what. We have to face it. Together. _Please_." Richie wiped at his cheeks and nodded in the affirmative, and the two climbed out of the car, sprinting towards the entrance to the ward. A way too cheerful looking woman sat at a desk, greeting them, and lucky for Eddie she must have recognized 'Nervous New Dad' speak, because he felt like all he blurted out was gibberish.

"Oh! Yes, The Hansoms! Mr. Hanscom said you'd be here." She made a motion for them to hold out their hands, and she stamped a symbol indicating they were supposed to be there on them. "I'll buzz you in and let the operating room know you've arrived. The waiting room you'll have is all the way at the end of this hall, last one on the left. Room A." She pressed a button and the door to the wing un-clicked, Eddie and Richie simply nodded in thanks, and they raced down the hall to Room A, hoping maybe Ben was there-but it was empty. A small love seat and a couple soft chairs sat along a wall, a television mounted in the corner played the news, and there was a Keurig machine and a water cooler. 

"Sit," Eddie said, gently guiding Richie to the love seat. "I'm getting you some water. I'll shoot Ben a text." He quickly fumbled for his phone and shakily typed a quick, _Here, in Room A_ , then stuffed it back into his pocket and filled a plastic cup with cold water. He sat close to Richie, handing him the drink. Richie gulped it down, crinkling the cup in his hands. He began whispering to himself softly, praying again. "There's a chapel here, babe, if you want to go-"

"No," Richie quickly answered. "I want to be here when Ben comes."

"Okay," Eddie answered, rubbing Richie's knee. He sat a little closer, letting Richie continue to demolish the plastic cup in his hands, his prayers still spilling from his lips. Eddie was dimly aware of the television droning on about upcoming area yard sales and the weather in five minutes and if too much phone time was bad for your spleen or whatever body part they had just mentioned. He got up to grab a cup of coffee when Ben's gentle face appeared in the doorway.

Richie was up like a shot, throwing what was left of the cup in the trash on his way over to Ben. Eddie was quickly beside him, and Richie's hand found his. "Bev?" they both asked, worriedly, quietly. Ben gave a soft smile. 

"She's doing great. They're just finishing stitching her up, and she'll be in the recovery room really soon." His hands reached out and rested on both of their shoulders, and as if he could read their minds, he spoke before they could even ask. 

"Well, Poppas? Don't you want to come meet your daughters?" His face blossomed into a large, joyful grin. Richie began crying again, and this time, Eddie joined him.

The walk to the NICU seemed long and never-ending. Ben walked between the two, holding them tightly, but talking to them lovingly. "It's honestly just to be on the safe side that they took them there. They put them in those little warmers, and stuck them with the cannulas for extra oxygen in their noses, but they were _screaming,_ guys. Like, howling mad. They were nice and pink-hell, they were _red_ with anger. They didn't even need to stimulate them. As soon as they were removed, they yelled bloody murder. I've never seen pairs of lungs so loud! You might just be beat, Rich."

"Atta girls," Richie whispered proudly, wiping his face. "Ben, are they-are they okay, though? How tiny are we talking? Was anything wrong with their hearts? Eyes? Ears?"

Ben moved his hand down a little to rub Richie's back. "They're pretty small, I can't lie about that. I don't know when they can do eyes and ears tests, but the initial Apgar score was really, really good. I'm sure they've done more of them in the NICU."

"Apgar?"

"Like...baby SAT's," Ben said. "Just the scores of reflexes and color and breathing-pulse-all that good stuff. They did really, really well. Even for teeny things." Richie nodded. "Oh! And one of the guys in there that delivered them-Eddie, he knows you? Calls himself Doctor Marky Mark?"

"Oh!" Eddie's face beamed. "Markus Markel! We went to medical school until he branched off to OB stuff. I didn't realize he was working over at this hospital!"

"He said he was slowly transitioning over here. He was pretty cool. He-hey! That's him!" They had reached the hallway of the NICU, and Doctor Markel was sitting on a chair just outside of the door, punching in notes on a laptop balanced on one knee. 

"Marky," Eddie called, waving. The man looked and waved back. 

"Eddie! Nice to see you again! I hear those gorgeous girls I delivered were yours?"

"Sure are. Mark, this is my husband, Richie. Richie, Doctor Marky Mark." Richie took Mark's outstretched hand and shook it limply, staring past him into the windows of the NICU. "Uh...it's been quite the morning. He's usually much more...vocal," he added, quietly.

"Understandable. So-the girls. I'm sure you're wondering how they are?"

Richie rubbed at his eyes. "Can I ask something, doc? No fucking around?"

Mark smiled. "Sure."

"Are they going to be okay?" The _okay_ came out in a hoarse and bitter choke. Eddie wrapped an arm around his waist, and looked at Mark, also ready to face the answer.

"They're doing wonderful, guys. really. No fucking," he added, smiling. "Close to thirty-five weeks is good-even for a single baby. The cannulas are just a precaution, and honestly? They can come out today. Their lungs are strong enough alone. We'll do a hearing test in a little bit, but the vision thing is something that'll progress as they age-so you might want to take them in to an eye doctor after a few months just to make sure. I'd go for hearing too, even if they pass their tests-just two things to look out for. The main concern is feeding. They're not _that_ premature, but they are pretty small in weight, probably just because your friend isn't too tall. Add two babies fighting for room in there, you're not going to get two very big babies. Which, I heard, in detail, her son was gigantic, and I'm still baffled how she even carried a baby that big."

"So what does that mean? The feeding," Eddie asked.

"They're just going to need a preemie formula for a while. It fattens them up better than regular formula. Full of lots of protein and calories. Not sure if mom was donating breast milk, but have her pump and freeze for now, and you can start adding it in slowly when your pediatrician gives the go ahead, okay? I'll give you a list of formulas that's close to what we use here." Both Richie and Eddie nodded. Mark noticed both men gazing past him, frantically staring into the windows. "Well, let's go, dads! Come see your little ones! He clicked the door open, and led them inside. "They're the last two on the right side of that wall. Next to our trusty nurse Carol, over there. Your little ones await."

 

And little they were. Richie and Eddie had never seen anything so tiny. Baby A weighed in at just Four pounds, two ounces, while Baby B was a cool Three pounds and fifteen ounces. Both were just under eighteen inches long. Carol was finishing up cleaning Baby B with a small, quick sponge bath. "I take it you're the dads?"

They nodded, dumbly, just staring and silently letting happy tears fall. Eddie wandered his way over to Baby A, while Richie stayed and gazed at Baby B. Ben stood back a little, chatting with Doctor Mark quietly, letting the two soak in the moment. Richie ghosted his hand over the chart that had pinned to the outside of the incubator of Baby B when he leaned in to take a closer look, and read it quickly. "Hey, doc? What's 'dizygotic' mean?"

"Just means they're not identical. You have fraternal twins."

Eddie's head snapped up, seeing a huge smile spread across Richie's face, before noticing Ben's face was also giving the same expression. "You two are _not_ discussing this here in the NICU-" Ben and Richie blurted out the question at the same time.

"Could we both be the dads?-"

"-Could Richie and Eddie both be the dads?"

"...what?" Mark laughed, confused. He looked at Eddie for an explanation. Eddie sighed.

"Richie and I couldn't decide which one of us was going to be the donor, so...we mixed our samples together. Then when we found out it was twins, Ben told us about the articles he read where sometimes fraternal twins can each have a different father if the woman has had sex with two different men close together? Or had a mixed sample inserted, like we did? And now they won't stop wondering if it happened with us, even though we have _specifically_ gone over many times that we're _not_ going to do DNA test!" 

"We're just curious how often it happens," Richie defended himself, reaching down and running finger under his daughter's chin. "I don't care if they're both mine, or both Eddie's-I just want to know the statistics!"

Mark shrugged. "It's happened here before. A _lot_ of times."

"Oh,my God. Mark. Do _not_ encourage these two," Eddie protested, holding the other newborn's hand.

"It has! Hell, you haven't _lived_ until you discover a woman has a twin in each one of her **two** uteruses that no one knew she had! And wait until each one of those kids has a different dad!"

"Did not need to know that, Mark." Eddie smiled over at Richie. "Switch?" Richie made his way over to baby A, while Eddie cozied up to Baby B. "When do you think they can come home?"

"Big thing is making sure they put weight on alright with the formula, and that they pass the car seat test. We strap them in and monitor their oxygen and respiration for about an hour and a half. If they pass, they go home. I have a pretty good feeling they will. We're going to be safe and say three days." He smiled at the two men, looking on in awe and already totally in love with the small, squiggly newborns. "So. You wanna hold your girls?"

"Can we? Really?" Eddie blinked up at him. "It's okay to?"

"Of course it is. Cannulas will have to stay in just for now, but lets get you two over to those rocking chairs." He pointed to the back of the room where a few chairs sat. "Go on over, we'll bring them to you." Eddie and Richie took a seat next to each other, holding hands while Mark and the nurse wheeled the babies over. "Okay, fellas. One for you-" He popped Baby A into Eddie's arms. "-and the other for...you!" Baby B went into Richie's hands.

"Oh my gosh," Eddie whispered, kissing the small girl in his arms. "Can you believe they're here?"

"I don't think I've cried so much in my life," Richie whispered back, face wet again. "Maybe at Magic Mike. That movie was _amazing_."

Eddie laughed, rocking Baby A slowly. "What hair do you have, little one? Hmm?" He peeked under the hat and gasped.

'What? What is it?" Richie sounded concerned.

"She's... _bald_ ," Eddie giggled, and Richie peeked. Sure enough, the baby had a perfectly smooth head. Richie lifted up the hat on Baby B.

"Well, this one has a dusting of hair! And surprise. It's **red.** " They both chuckled. "Oh, shit. Haystack! Speaking of red, when is Bev due to go back to recover-...have you been taking pictures of us?"

Ben sniffed back tears. "Maybe. This is a beautiful moment, okay?" 

Eddie hissed through his teeth. "I didn't even think to text anyone we were here!"

"I already did. Stan and Mike are on their way, Bill was still trying to sneak out of work," Ben said. "I got you guys."

"Thanks, Haystack," Richie said, genuinely. "Should we try to switch?" Richie and Eddie eyes each other with the babies. "Or...not? How the hell are we gonna-" Ben walked over and held out his arms. Richie plopped Baby B into his arms while Eddie handed Richie Baby A. Ben then placed Baby B into Eddie's.

"Thanks again, Ben," Eddie murmured softly. Ben's phone buzzed and he took a quick peek. 

"Bev's all ready in recovery... and I guess the guys are there too!" He gave a large grin. "You think they're ready to meet The Tozier Twins?"

"They better be," Richie warned, playfully.

***************

The incubators were wheeled in, babies tucked happily away inside them. The five in the room _ooohhh_ 'd and _awwwww_ 'd, Bev from her bed, but the rest practically ran over to the incubators.

"They're so small! They're so cute! They're-Bev, they look just like you already," Stan marveled.

"Told you they'd look like her to drive us nuts," Richie whispered to Eddie, kissing him on the cheek.

There were a flurry of hands and coos, passing the babies person to person, being mindful of the cannula, and questions about when they could come home asked. After about ten minutes of fawning over the new additions, it was Bill that spoke up.

"Wait! What are you naming them?"

Richie and Eddie smiled. "Glad you asked," Eddie said. "Who has Baby A?" Stan muttered a _yo_ , bouncing the baby in his arms. "Well, Richie and I liked the A and B theme when we learned they were twins, so we came up with A and B names. So- Stan, everyone...please meet Ava Grace Tozier." The group grinned, chattering about the name among them.

"And Bev," Richie said, "since you're holding Baby B-I'd like you- _all_ of you-to meet your namesake. Welcome Beverly Eleanor Tozier. We're partial to 'Bee,' though."

Beverly's mouth hung open. "You-you can't! I won't let you!" Tears ran down her cheeks, getting everyone else going.

"Well, tough shit," Richie said through tears, earning a laugh from everyone despite the crying. "You carried her for us, Bev, and she's a part of you. It's the least we could do. Hell, we'd give you a kidney if you asked. Well. _Eddie_ would."

"I hate you two," Bev smiled, tears still running. She nuzzled the newborn close. "I can't believe you did that."

"We can't believe you gave us them," Eddie interjected, kissing Bev's cheek. "I don't know how we'll ever repay you."

She gave a wet smile. "Keep that kidney thing in mind."

****************************

 

"I can't believe it's been six months, and I _still_ can't tell who they look like," Eddie grumbled. Bev, who was swirling Owen around in her arms in the pairs' living room, glanced down at he and Richie on the floor, each giving their daughters airplane rides. 

"I can tell," she stated, bending down. She looked at Bee and Ava. "You two look... just... like... _me!_ " She blew a raspberry, and the babies giggled.

"Well, you know...there's always a **test** available if you're that curious..." Richie said, lifting Ava and kissing her fists that were grabbing for his glasses.

"No! No tests! But goddamn it, now you and Ben _do_ have me curious! Bev, remind me to strangle your husband."

"Noted," she grinned, setting Owen down and letting him toddle over to Richie, sitting on his gut with an _oof_. A timer from Bev's phone went off, and the three adults looked at each other with nervousness. 

Richie glanced at her from the floor. "You want me to check?"

"No, I better do it. Can you keep an eye on-"

"We got him," Eddie said, answering Bev's question. She nodded and made her way to their bathroom. "Owen, you want some ice cream?"

" _Yaaa! Ya ya ya ya,_ ," the toddler babbled. Eddie sat up, placing Bee tummy down on the blanket they had spread out and Owen got off of Richie clapping his hands. Eddie stood up and stretched, and took one of Owen's hands. "Let's go, buddy! We got chocolate! Your favorite!" Richie positioned himself to have Ava and Bee held under each arm.

"I got _both_ of yas, see?" The babies shriek-laughed at his gangster impression, as he kissed both of their faces. "And youse guyses is quite da handfulls, ain't dat right, boss?"

Eddie came walking back in with Owen and a bowl of ice cream. He sat on the couch and gave him a bite. "Wouldn't have it any other way."

"Yoooo _ooooo_ ," Bev called out from the hallway. She held up a pregnancy test. "I can make it out this time! It's actually a plus sign!"

Richie and Eddie whooped. "Mike and Stan are gonna be so excited, Bev," Eddie said. "We gonna go over and tell them you're pregnant with a little Mike?"

"Yeah, but gimme some of that ice cream first," she said, sitting next to Eddie. He smiled and fed her a spoonful.

"I can't believe you're doing this again," Richie remarked. "Doesn't it suck to be pregnant all the time?"

"Sometimes. But it's worth it," she said, glancing at all the babies in the room. "Besides, after this, I'm closing up shop. Unless it's another one for myself this time. And if its twins again, I just might riot and close up everything _entirely._ " She and Owen polished off the ice cream. "We ready, boys?"

Eddie grabbed a diaper bag while Richie tried to maneuver himself off the floor and grab the kids. He handed Ava off to Eddie, and cradled Bee in his arms. Bev slung Owen to her hip, and followed them outside. "You two need any help?"

"Pssshh. Bev, we've got this down to a _science,_ " Richie scoffed.

"If 'science' entails Richie leaving one or both diaper bags on top of the car as we drive away," Eddie grunted, rolling his eyes.

"That was like, twice! ...Last week! Leave a guy be!"

Bev sighed, staring at the two. Her face landed on Ava's, then Bee's. The corner of her mouth turned up in a grin, and she swiftly yet gently booped the babies' noses, earning giggles.

"Something up?" Richie and Eddie looked at Bev in amusement and confusion.

"What? Can't I boop these beautiful kiddos on the nose?" She did the same to Owen, who grinned and _mamama_ 'd after she did so. "I'll meet you guys at their place? If you get there before me, Eddie, do **not** let Richie spill the beans."

"I'm not! Why does everybody think I can't keep I secret?" Bev gave a kiss to the girls, and then one to Eddie and Richie. 

"Because, dipshit, you told Ben before I could when I was pregnant with Owen. _Then_ you told Bill before Audra could. So, zip it, got it?" She poked him in the chest. "See you in ten," she called over her shoulder, opening her back car door and buckling Owen in his car seat. She climbed in the driver's side and handed Owen a stuffed bunny that had been left on the front passenger seat-his favorite toy. She glanced out the window and watched Eddie and Richie snapping the girls in, Richie leaning down to smother them in kisses, Richie going around the car and smothering _Eddie_ in kisses before he could get in. She grinned to herself. 

They might not have been able to see it-probably from the lack of sleep with two small babies, probably because they saw them every day, and every change was ever so slight-but _Bev_ could.

Ava and Bee looked like her, there was no denying that. But when Bev looked at Ava's faint wisps of thick black hair coming in with her eyes beginning to change into those almost hazel-colored eyes Richie had, and that little smattering of freckles across her nose popping up already-she knew.

And when she looked at Bee and saw _her_ mass of red curls starting, but with Eddie's nose and lips, and her eyes taking on that dark, dark brown with the amber edges in them, like his-she knew then, too.

Who knew Ben would be right? But at least Bev knew how to keep a secret. 

Besides, they'd figure it out. Eventually.

**Author's Note:**

> (I can not remember nor find if Bev has a middle name, so I went with 'Eleanor' just because her mother's name was 'Elfrida,' s a bit prettier version of the name.)


End file.
